


From Beginning to End

by Miko



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-08-18
Updated: 2011-08-18
Packaged: 2017-10-22 18:47:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/241333
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miko/pseuds/Miko
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If he'd known what was to come, he'd have fought harder.</p>
            </blockquote>





	From Beginning to End

In the beginning he fought back, as hard as he could. They ensured, with drugs and mind-control, that he could not turn his powers on them or refuse a direct order. But they couldn't take away his mind completely without rendering him useless, and so he could still think for himself.

He couldn't disobey, but he could bend or misinterpret or forget. He could take long detours, choose the worst possible route, and fail to dampen the turbulence that shook the ship as they crossed the vast distances between the stars. He could do anything and everything that occurred to him to cause trouble, so long as he did nothing that would actively risk the safety of Her Imperial Condescension.

She knew he was doing it, of course, and She could hardly fail to realize that it was done purposefully. She punished him for each transgression with impersonal viciousness.

"Why must you hurt yourself this way?" She asked him as She flayed his mind and body. "You know what the punishment is, and yet you continue to defy me. I take no pleasure from torturing you, my treasured slave. You are valuable to me, and I would cherish you if only you would let me."

He spat in Her face when She said things like that. She would punish him harder, but he would have the thin consolation of knowing that She hadn't broken him.

In the beginning, he would have killed Her in a second if he were capable of it.

* * *

Early on, he still struggled, but he wasn't as creative at finding loopholes in his orders. The constant punishments took their toll, and he flinched in anticipation of the agony every time he defied Her. It grew more and more difficult to convince himself that the satisfaction of defiance was worth the price.

"Please, cease this pointless suffering," She said, Her voice full of concern and grief. "My darling, my pet, why do you do this? We could be so wonderful together. You could be the most powerful and useful of all my slaves. Only think how much better your life would be if you didn't defy me so."

He sobbed with pain but bared his fangs at Her, refusing to surrender the only thing he had left - his pride. She could take his freedom, his dignity, even his life if She chose to, but only he could give up his pride.

Early on, he loathed Her with absolute contempt.

* * *

After some time, the day came when She gave him an order - a simple order, nothing more than a command to take Her to Her destination, easily allowing him to make the journey long or rough - and he followed it. Perfectly.

He cried when he did it, knowing that it was the beginning of the end, knowing that he was letting Her win but unable to face the thought of being punished for the third time that day.

When they arrived promptly and pleasantly at the ordered planet, She reached out to him and he flinched back, terrified that She was going to punish him anyway.

"Thank you, precious," She said, caressing his face, running Her long claws gently along his jaw and up into his hairline. She rubbed the base of his horns, evoking waves of endorphins that left him gasping. "Don't you see how much better it is when you obey me?"

He trembled beneath the touch, so simple and yet so powerful after so long of feeling nothing but pain. He'd forgotten what pleasure felt like. She continued to pet and praise him, touching and stroking and pleasuring him until he was little more than a shivering wreck of need. Then She left him there, walking away and ignoring his strangled cry.

After some time, he began to despair, fearing what he would do to feel Her touch again - and to avoid Her wrath.

* * *

At some point, he started to forget what his reasons for fighting even were. He could hardly remember what the Signless had looked like, or what his message had been. The inspiration to free himself that the Signless had given him was gone, and in its absence he had nothing left to cling to.

Nothing except Her, the way She would praise him and pet him like an animal that had performed well. Sometimes She would work him up and leave him hanging there helplessly, but sometimes She would follow through and push him past the breaking point, until he writhed in the bonds that connected him to the ship and sobbed Her name in pleasure.

In his moments of sense he knew that She likely did it only to collect his material to ensure that future powerful psychics could be born, but those moments came more and more infrequently. "Beloved," She crooned as She stroked him. "My faithful one. So strong, so powerful. So perfectly obedient. Isn't it better this way?"

At some point, he came to hate Her with a burning passion that surpassed every star they flew to.

* * *

Eventually, he knew the only way he would ever escape Her was death. Vaguely he was aware that he must be coming to the end of the short lifespan of a low-blood, and that soon he would be free. Part of him longed for it, but a larger part of him mourned it fiercely.

She came to him as She often did, not to order him but just to be with him, admiring the trophy She had turned him into. "What would I ever do without you, my jewel?" She murmured, cupping his chin in Her hand and tilting his face up to Her. "If not for you I could not roam the galaxy as I do, nor enjoy my freedom knowing that I can return home at a moment's notice if necessary. No, I do not think I shall be able to do without you."

What She did to him then was indescribable, save that it surpassed the agony of every punishment She had ever meted out to him in all the sweeps prior. When She was done he was left gasping and reeling, so dizzy he would have collapsed if not for the bio-cables that kept him forever locked in place at the helm.

"I have shared my life with you," She told him, obviously very pleased with Herself. "Now your life is linked to mine, and you will share all the great span of years I have yet before me. We will never have to be separated, my love."

His last escape was gone, and he was bound to serve Her for eternity. With that final chance died the faint remaining scraps of his hope - so faint he hardly even noticed their passing.

Eventually, he belonged to Her in body, mind, and soul.

* * *

In the end, he no longer knew who he was or had been, no longer cared that he'd once fought or that he'd had another life. Everything was Her, all that mattered was Her, and he would have willingly thrown his life away for just one pleased comment from Her.

"Take us home, my pet," She ordered him. He'd never seen Her so upset. "Quickly, as fast as you can. I must return to Alternia."

He did his best, pushing himself beyond any limits he'd ever reached before. He did it even though he could feel that it was killing him, even though the idea of being separated from Her forever by death was nearly enough to kill him on its own. He did it gladly, and his only regret as he died was that he failed to get Her all the way there, and never got to hear Her last words of praise.

In the end, he worshipped Her, and couldn't imagine that it had ever been any other way.


End file.
